Online Gaming
by blackcat9517
Summary: The Joker discovers just how ugly online gaming can be. And nobody messes with Harley but him.


**Online Gaming**

The Joker was a man who only cared about one thing in his mind – jokes. Well, there are a few other 'minor' things he 'cared' about like his girlfriend, Harley Quinn for instance. Nonetheless, the Joker was constantly busy with his schemes on killing, annoying and pretty much trolling the Dark Knight. He always puts his plans first before anything else which includes ignoring Harley but he somewhat shows a little affection for her so don't fret people. After all, the dame can be useful sometimes right?

The point is, the Clown Prince of Crime never puts anything before his plans, before Batman. What's a super criminal without his nemesis? Alas, when the Joker sees something more important than Batsy, he'll be sure to get right on it. While he is known as a mass murdering psychopath, he just can't help but wonder why everyone is just so hyped about a new video game coming out very soon. Yes, he does play video games but not on a normal basis of course, not for the likes of the Joker.

The so called video game was a mix between action/adventure and shooter. Fans were going wild the moment the trailer for the game was released. People went crazier when it was announced there is going to be online multiplayer with plenty of new modes. Needless to say, the Joker wanted to play the game when he found out he could beat the living life out of Batman or at least he thought it was Batman. That sold him.

The moment the game was released on midnight, the Joker, after finding out about the release date, went to the nearest game store he could find. Surprisingly, there was no queue outside or even inside the store for that matter. Then again, Gotham at midnight is a time where you don't want to be out alone unless you're a giant flying rodent. That made the grin on the clown's face wider. He wondered if Batman secretly plays video games with his Bat-Game or Bat-GameStation but let's not digress.

The Joker strode into a game store that had a huge poster of the game hanging outside the store. The bell chimed as he entered as he heard a bored, dull voice saying "Welcome to GothamGames," There was a man seated behind the counter. He didn't face his customer but instead, had his eyes glued to the small monitor with a controller in both hands.

"Hi ya, buddy. I'm looking for that new game that's being released today or should I say tonight," The Joker said and chuckled but his face fell into a frown when the cashier ignored him. "Hey kid, are you listening? I said I wanna buy that new game, whatever it's called."

"Rodentman: Hamark Origins?" The guy muttered while his eyes went wild, looking all over the screen. "Sorry, we're sold out."

"What do you mean they're sold out? There's nobody here!"

"Oh yeah, a lot of people pre-ordered the game online so we're shipping out all copies first thing tomorrow morning," the cashier said as he finally set the controller down and gasped as he realized who he was talking to. "Boss?!"

The Joker gave him a look. "Do I know you?" He took a good look at the shivering cashier before realizing it was indeed one of his henchmen. "Oh that's right! You're Jake! The new driver!"

Jake, as he was being addressed by the Joker wanted to correct the psychopath. The name tag on his shirt clearly stated his name is Ryan but he might as well play along, fearing that his boss might actually kill him. "Y-Yes sir."

The Clown Prince of Crime let out a laugh "Well, looks like we got off on the wrong start. Why don't we start again? I want the new game."

"Of course!" Jake or Ryan exclaimed in a panic manner, pulling out a brand new, still sealed copy of the game from under the desk. He mustered up all the courage he could before asking "D-Do you have a c-console?"

The Joker arched an eyebrow. He wasn't entirely familiar with the whole gaming thing but he assumed it was needed in order to play the game. "I suppose not. Just get me whatever you can so that I can play it."

The still shivering henchman ran into the store room and brought out a square box. "Here's the console, Boss. All you have to do is plug in the power cord and you're good to go. You need internet connection to play online…"

"Do I look like an idiot to you?" The Joker snapped, starting to feel impatient and somewhat confused by what the cashier was talking about.

"No sir."

"Good." The clown muttered darkly. The tone of his voice then changed to that of a cheerful one. "Now then, I trust I have everything I need in order to play this game without any problems?"

Jake or Ryan shook his head violently "Y-Y-e-Yes sir."

"Excellent! How much for the whole thing?" The Joker asked as he reached for his wallet.

Ryan had his mouth agape "Y-You're paying for it?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, it's just that usually, when you..uh… want something… you… just… take it?"

The criminal mastermind's face then lit up and he let out a laugh "That's for annoying the Bat! I'm here on personal business!"

The cashier was just too terrified to charge his boss, fearing that the price would irritate him and so he made up a promotion "Guess what Boss! Today's your lucky day! We're giving away a free console and game to whoever comes here during midnight and you're the lucky winner!"

The Joker's eyes widened in surprise before he asked enthusiastically "Really?!"

The henchman nodded with a nervous smile on his face.

"Thanks a lot, Jake! I guess it's my lucky night!"

The Joker grabbed the rather large paper bag before walking out of the store, whistling about as he headed back to his current hideout.

The moment the Joker left the store, Ryan breathed like a fish out of water before calming himself. He couldn't believe that his boss, the Joker, just casually walked into a game store and wanted to pay for something. "I need to find a new job."

Once the Clown Prince of Crime had reached home, he was immediately greeted by Harley who launched herself onto him, nearly toppling him and dropping his new toy.

"Puddin'! You're back!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now get off of me!" He shoved her off of him with his free hand and strode into the makeshift living room which surprisingly had a TV. Harley then noticed the large paper bag he was carrying.

"What's inside the paper bag, Mr.J?" she asked, trying to get a peek but her hand was swatted away.

"Just something I got at the game store. It turns out our new henchman works there! Now get out of my way, Harl," he said and shoved her away, striding into the makeshift living room.

"But Mr.J, you said you'd spent time with me…"

The Joker only heard half of what she said as he was busy setting up the game console and muttered "Yeah, yeah. Maybe later. I'm kinda busy."

Harley slump her shoulders and dragged herself into their bedroom. She might as well get a good rest. There was no point in trying to convince her boyfriend anyway, especially when he's fixated on something.

It took the Joker a good half an hour to figure out which wire connects to where and when he finally did manage to turn on the system, it required internet connection and so when he saw that his neighbour's wasn't secured, he immediately used it. He was then faced with another problem where he was required to have an online ID. Setting up the email was easy but the online ID wasn't. The Clown Prince discovered that the gamer tags 'The Joker', 'TheJoker', 'The Clown Prince of Crime' and even 'TheRealJoker' were already taken by other users, much to his dismay. He muttered incoherent words under his breath and finally settled with 'TheReallyRealJoker'. It was a long name but at least nobody had taken the gamer tag yet. He made a mental note to track down the users who had used his name without his knowledge. They were definitely going to get the surprise of a lifetime.

Once the setup part was complete, the Joker immediately jumped into multiplayer mode. He couldn't care much about story mode. All he wanted to do was get a taste of tormenting people online and he had heard they can get pretty fun. He managed to get into a game shortly after entering the lobby and struggled to understand the controls for a few minutes before finally getting the hang of it. Sure his performance on his first game was terrible but he was quick to learn how the game works and managed to win a couple of matches. He was sure he could enjoy playing the game if he wasn't busy planning or fighting the Bat.

Well, that's what he thought until he got into a lobby filled with gamers who had microphones.

"Hey look! There's a guy called 'TheReallyRealJoker'! Must be desperate or something!" a gamer said.

"He's a noob!" one screamed after checking out Joker's profile.

"I bet he wants my gamer tag!" another gamer said. The Joker could clearly read what his online ID was; The Joker. So that's one of the many who used his name.

"He stole my name!" the Joker exclaimed. He was determined to beat the gamer for using his name. Nobody uses his name except the one and only Joker!

As soon as the match started, the Joke proved to be a worthy opponent as he managed to make the gamer rage countless times whenever he was killed.

"Dammit!"

"What the hell!"

"HOW CAN THAT KILL ME!"

The Joker was laughing uncontrollably in front of the TV. He had never heard somebody rage this bad before. The icing on the cake however, was when he managed to the get the final kill while his opponent let out a high-pitched scream.

They were redirected to the lobby once the game ended and things got pretty bad when the angry gamer started making threats.

"I'm gonna find your IP address and boot you offline!"

"Calm down man! It's just a game."

"LIKE HELL IT IS! I'M GONNA D-DOS YOU RIGHT NOW!"

The Joker wasn't entirely familiar with the terms he had used but he assumed they were just empty threats made by said gamer.

"I bet you're just some wannabe Joker loser living in his parents' basement!" the gamer insulted which made the grin on Joker's face disappear. He then searched the console box beside him, pulling out a headset.

"_Now that's not very nice_,"

The lobby fell silent. The voice was all too familiar for them. It was then a random gamer broke the silence "Holy Batman! That was a really good impression of the Joker! Sounds like Mark Hamill!"

"_That wasn't an impression_, _kid._"

'The Joker' on the other hand had less pleasant things to say "I get it! You're probably some YouTuber who's trying to troll us all! You don't sound anything like the real Joker."

"_I am the real Joker you moron!_"

The whole lobby, except the real Joker, laughed. This caused the Clown Prince of Crime to grip his controller in anger. They were laughing at him. It's not funny when the joke's on him.

"Like hell you're the real Joker. Hey if you're really the real Joker, can I borrow your bitch? I mean she's one fine woman! Just look at her body!"

The controller Joker was gripping made a terrifying cracking noise that would make any gamer cringe or even cry in agony.

"I bet I can give her a better time with me than that old clown! Hell, she'll even become my bitch! Besides, from what I heard she's an idiot! Harley Quinn the dumb blonde! " The gamer insulted and burst into a fit laughter.

At this point, the controller pretty much snapped in half. Without any hesitation, the Joker whipped out his gun and shot the TV until he was out of ammo. He was definitely going to find the bastard. However, his train of thought of plotting to kill said gamer was disturbed when he heard laughter coming from another room. The same laughter he had heard in the game.

The Joker's face lit up and a huge grin formed on his face. "Well, this is a pleasant surprise! It would be a shame not to visit your neighbour after jacking his internet connection!" He strode out of the living room, reached for the door and walked out, proceeding to knock on his neighbour's door.

Laughter could be heard from inside just as the door opened. The look on the man's face fell. "Holy…" Before he could finish, the Joker knocked his face with his gun.

"If there's one thing you need to know about my 'bitch', it's that **nobody** and I say it again, **nobody**, but me insults her," The Joker said darkly, causing the man to crawl back in fear.

"Look man, it was just a joke…"

"It's not funny," The Joker said before cocking his gun. As he pulled the trigger, the man shut his eyes, fearing for the worst but instead, a flag came out of the barrel. The man shivered uncontrollably as he looked at the flag. "Now that's funny!" He exclaimed before laughing his signature laugh but it stopped mid-way. "Good night!" The Joker pulled the trigger and the flag embedded itself into the man's skull before the body fell down with a thud.

"Mr.J," a familiar voice squeaked, causing the Clown Prince to turn to the source of the voice. It was none other than Harley standing at the door way. She sniffed and wiped a tear before leaping onto him and kissing his face repeatedly. "That was one of the most romantic things you've ever done!"

The Joker rolled his eyes before wrapping an arm around her waist. "You're lucky I actually don't care about you by much to do that, you dumb blonde." He murmured with a smile.

"Awww Puddin', I love you!"

"Let's go to bed. All that gaming really worn me out," Both walked back to their hideout hand-in-hand. Harley couldn't have been happier.

Just as they passed the living room, The Joker unplugged the game console, opened the window, threw it out and yelled "Free game console!"

"You know what, Harley. I've learned my lesson about online gaming. I'm just going to stick with the classics," He said and undressed.

"Maybe you should play online gaming more," Harley suggested before slipping under the covers. "It's brings out your romantic side."

"Like I said Harley, once is enough for me," The Joker settled in on his spot of the bed before shoving way his girlfriend who tried to snuggle with him. "Get away from me you greedy brat!" He shifted a bit before feeling comfortable once more. As he was about to drift off to slumber, he could feel Harley slowly snuggling against him. He might as well give the kid a chance every now then. After all, he doesn't care about her by much or at least that's what TheReallyRealJoker thought.

_The End._


End file.
